such a strange education

Proudest academic moment: working my way up from a C to an A in calculus second year of college. Drew, my classmate, absolutely BRILLIANT boy - and super helpful, was quite instrumental in helping me understand stuff but I worked my butt off for it. It was probably the first time I actually had a real academic goal. I didn't want a C on my transcript, and I knew that a good calculus grade would seal my application to UVA. Good incentive huh?

Practice practice practice. Focus Focus Focus. Learn, apply, seal the deal.

My study habits have rarely been admirable in the past, but at least back then I knew that they worked. I never cared for grades, because I believed that they did little to define you as a person - character doesn't depend on academic ability.

Then came law school - and I've become the person that I never wanted to become. Grades grades grades. Learning isn't about learning anymore, its about getting the A. In highschool, my crappy grades were indicative of my knowledge - I didn't know jack back then, at least about the subjects that I was being taught.

Now, I actually care about what I'm learning (most of the time). I didn't come here to put grades on my transcript - I came here to learn the law. Does my inability to ace a three-hour multiple choice final have any bearing on what I've actually learned?

I may have finally gained an appreciation for the intricacies of the law, and the drive to learn it ... but what was only yesterday a pure, and genuine appreciation ... is today a mangled, disillusioned mess.

"The trouble is, nothing looks the same
The trouble is, I don't think it ever will

...

The trouble is, I don't know what to say
The trouble is, I don't think I ever will

...

Such a strange education."


Its amazing what three hours can do to your confidence. And your soul.

Future law students beware. Come in with an armor of steel - there is no protection in the path to your JD. Nerves of steel are a prerequisite. Cast your emotions to the way side at the door. This is not the place for it. Learn the black letter - don't bother with trying to care about it. It means nothing.

Sigh. Z ... where's the perspective?

[pardon the jaded post. its been a rough morning. thought this would be a good change from gun control]

Quick thoughts ... in the midst of evidence.

So, I just recieved the book I ordered online - "The Gun Control Debate" - its a collection of essays about gun control. Yes I know ... fascinating. I just feel the need to be educated.


Anyhoo, in my enthusiasm (and an attempt to get my mind off evidence) I read the introduction. Preliminary note: I think the editor/compiler dude is pro-gun (just a hunch), but I'm not going to let that bother me as I read it. And I will read it. [Interesting fact #1: it wasn't until the early 1900s that law enforcement were allowed to be armed.]

The purpose of this post, however, is to posit the following, which I admit is a rather simplistic view of things:

From what I can tell, the modern trend has been that gun ownership rose as gun-crime rose. So, how about this - as a test, how about we take away everyones guns - this includes criminals as well as non-criminals; we'll let the cops keep their guns - subject to some restrictions (like um, harsher penalties for mis-use of authority and um, other stuff). If the "criminals" don't have guns, the major threat that the non-criminal gun owners have has disappeared.

This is a little bit of a cyclical argument, and problematic because law enforcement is still armed. Well, they have to take care of the non-gun crimes ... right?

Anyhoo - I say take away all the guns. Lets put them in a big pile on the mall, and burn them - a special July 4th!

"Hey Z, what about that 2nd Amendment thing?"

Well, you know how "they" say that in desperate times, civil liberties and all those Constitutional protections (like the 1st Amendment freedoms, Due Process, Confrontation and Equal protection...) they're all like - not that important because we have to sacrifice something for security?

Well, how about we sacrifice the 2nd Amendment and the right to bear arms for the sake of security? I think that we would all be much safer if we did that.

What happened to just crazy?

In the aftermath of 4/16, the absurdities that erupted in the media have been gut-wrenching, and barf worthy. I’m sorry – that’s just how I feel.

Just yesterday I emailed Aly venting about something I had read. It was an article about the Hokies first day back at school, and it was - for the most part – a good article. It was good up until the sentence, in the context of several South Korean students at a memorial, “Several times, he and the other students said they were sorry.” I think that was the last straw.

I want to know why random South Korean students should feel in any way obliged to apologize for someone that they didn’t even know. Why are minority ethnic groups marginalized and pressured (subconsciously) into believing that they have some obligation to apologize for a mad man? I didn’t see any white-Americans apologizing for Timothy McVeigh’s actions after Oklahoma city, or after Columbine. Why does an entire ethnic group have to bear the stigma of one crazy kid, wielding weapons that the government allowed him to have – unlawfully? (Unlawfully because his mental history actually barred him from being able to obtain arms, but the state and federal governments didn’t think it was important enough to connect the dots).

I had lunch w/the ILF crew and someone mentioned that Fox news went to some length to create a “Paki” connection. I believe it. That person went on to share a very enlightening, but not all that surprising story. She bumped into a well known journalist (admittedly, one that I had not heard of ... sigh,*shame*), and had the opportunity to chat with her. This woman was very candid, and asked my friend – so, you’re Muslim? How relieved were you when the shooter at Tech was not Muslim? You know, if he had been Muslim – you’d be all rounded up by now.

Is this an absurd thought? Is it absurd to consider that if the shooter was Muslim, that we wouldn’t be rounded up like the Japanese in the aftermath of Pearl Harbor? It’s an incredibly scary prospect. The scariest part is that she was right – it would have been the last straw if the Tech shooter was Muslim.

I digress, but back to the purpose of this post – in the past I’ve said that as members of certain communities, we have an obligation to be a spokesperson. I maintain that position, but am a little unclear myself as to what that applies to – is that responsibility limited to the context of groups on the basis of belief, or does it extend to ethnicity/race? I think it definitely applies to faith groups – not that we should be apologizing for extremists, but in a more limited way – as spokespersons for the crux of our beliefs, and as educators - clarifying and correcting. In the context of ethnicity, however, do we have that same role? Ethnicity/race is an immutable characteristic, and while in many respects culture does create a framework within which we share commonalities – I don’t think that holds true in this situation. Anyhoo, irrespective of my self-imposed distinction, I think there is something bubbling under the surface – it’s not pure racism, but more on the lines of Edward Said’s theory of the other. The other is defined by its weakest link. The other community is obliged to represent itself, irrespective of whether it actually has a common understanding or not.

The truth gets lost in the smoke: The Tech shooter didn’t go off on his rampage because he was Korean, he was mentally ill - it had nothing to do with race!

In this post 9/11 world, I wonder – what happened to just crazy?

We are all Hokies

Some will question why I have taken this position. The 32 victims of a student rampage were definitely not the only victims of violence on Monday. Countless people died of senseless violence in various parts of the United States, Iraq and the rest of the Middle East, various parts of Africa, Europe; children in Africa and various parts of Asia are victims of injustice on an everyday basis.

What prompts me to post with such a vengence on this particular issue?

Maybe its the close proximity, the fact that I know people that attend Tech and people that have attended Tech in the past. Maybe its because I know what its like to have your protective bubble popped, exposing you to the harsh reality of the world. Maybe its because it could have happened anywhere - and that Universities across the country admit that there's nothing that they can do to ensure the security of their campuses. Maybe its because I have young nieces, nephews, and others that I care deeply for, that are either in college or are getting ready to attend college campuses in anytown, USA - and there is no guarantee out there that they will not one day be a victim to this kind of tragedy. Maybe its because I have a soft spot for the Tech-MSA. Maybe its because I have a Virginia connection.

Maybe its because in the midst of the violence, there were simple acts of heroism - the Professor that died in an attempt to save his students, the Egyptian student that gave his life saving his fellow student, the ROTC cadet's quick thinking that saved his classmates lives.

Maybe its because one day I hope to have my (future) children (inshaAllah!) attend high school and college in this country - and it scares the crap out of me that they might be subject to body searches and metal detectors, and still not be ensured safety.

Maybe its because the Tech shooting destroyed the sanctuary of a quiet little town. Maybe its because the victims were killed for no reason what so ever - not even discriminatory reasons. Maybe its because the shootings have raised questions within my heart about the world that we live in, a question that I probably should have asked earlier, but failed to do so.

Maybe its because I am opposed to the NRA, and I believe that this could have been prevented if loose gun laws didn't allow a college kid to buy assault weapons. Maybe ts because I recognize that its not quite as simple as that.

Maybe its because hearing the gunshots in the videos, the screams, hearing how students were jumping out of windows brought back scary memories of the mayhem of September 11, reminding me that we live in a broken world.

Why are we all Hokies? Why do the words of Nikki Giovanni's rousing poem, "we are Virginia Tech" resonate in my heart?

"We do not understand this tragedy. We know we did not deserve it but neither does a child in Africa dying of AIDS, but neither do the invisible children walking the night to avoid being captured by a rogue army. Neither does the baby elephant watching his community be devastated for ivory; neither does the Appalachian infant killed in the middle of the night in his crib in the home his father built with his own hands being run over by a boulder because the land was destabilized. No one deserves a tragedy.
...

We are better than we think, not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imagination and the possibility we will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears, through all this sadness.

We are the Hokies.

We will prevail, we will prevail.

We are Virginia Tech."

There are grave injustices happening all over the world, and we easily forget about them. We are all Hokies today because this tragedy reminds us that there will continue to be injustice in the world until we stand up against it.

We are all Hokies.

Misplaced criticism

The mayhem has begun; as much as I prayed that there was no Muslim/Arab connection to this tragedy, I ended up ignoring the other potential spin - the involvement of a "foreigner."

Instead of initiating discussion about gun control, this is becoming about immigration - because our system isn't messed up enough.

From the Daily Kos:

“By initially playing up the possibility that the shooter was a Chinese national in the U.S. on a student visa, the narrative indicated that the enemy wasn't going to be guns, but foreigners.

In a conservative, paranoid worldview, this explanation makes perfect sense. The trouble isn't the availability of guns, it's the flood of foreigners who we've permitted into the country. Someone with a Chinese student visa arrived to the U.S. and used our freedoms to kill red-blooded Americans. The argument won't be about sensible restrictions but about the peril of outsiders.”

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/4/16/221546/582

Right to bear "arms"?

I heard the tail end of an interview w/Rep. Jim Moran this morning. Rep. Moran mentioned that one of the NRA's touted victories in the recent past was the Omnibus Spending Bill of 2004, mandating that gun purchase records be destroyed within 24-hrs of purchase. The bill has effectively made the United States the easiest place in the world to aquire assault arms, apart from nations ravaged by war.

There is no way of tracking gun purchases, and this is considered a privacy right.

Former AG Ashcroft stated that "FBI checks of gun records into foreigners being detained on suspicion of possible connections to the September 11 hijackers would 'violate their privacy.'"

My belief in the Constitution and its protections is severely scarred.

If you're as disturbed as I am, consider joining the Brady Center's Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.

An interesting perspective

This is a column posted on one of the VT Facebook groups, you will find it here

"I was going to originally write a column today on the Imus ordeal, and eventually segue into a general overture on racism in general. The practical importance of whether or not Imus was fired because it was the right thing to do or because a news organization wanted to save advertisers and prevent financial loss is trivial at the moment.

Considering the events of today, at Virginia Tech, which by the time you read this, regrettably, will be heavily oversaturated in the news; I decided that that was not the course I wanted to take.

It’s very early right now, so writing specifics isn’t important as most of them will be wrong later. I’m not here to write about what happened, anyway.
This is the worst all-civilian shooting in American history.

I wanted to remind everyone that in the wake of this, that getting angry about it is empty and unfulfilling, and is not what the situation needs.

In the coming days and weeks there will be many many people to stand up against the school, and say “It’s their fault for not stopping this!”

You cannot have that attitude.

You cannot blame “The Media”; you can’t blame the internet, television, video games, Virginia Tech or the police, you have no one to blame but the man who made the decision to destroy those 32 families (Not counting his own), and the countless dreams and hopes of all the students who died with no warning or ability to protect themselves.

Do not let popular opinion persuade you to become angry and bitter over this so that the tragedy is over-shadowed by lawsuits and talking heads on TV ignoring the kids and firing rubber bullets at campus officials.

Already, there are people on the news, shouting aimlessly and foolishly about gun control, citing the lack of morality in kids in generation Y, demanding apologies from China(?), blaming democrats, arguing that republicans caused this somehow, going on and on about things that do not matter— DO NOT LISTEN. Ignore them.

Westboro Baptist Church, one of the most sickening organizations in the free world has announced already that they will be picketing the funerals of the students who died in the shootings, claiming the kids died all because America allows gay marriage. Ignore them, they are among the most foolish and stupid people in our country.

Keep your hearts free of this manic rage that grips the masses, it is not what anyone needs in this situation. Remember the victims, forget the brainless fools looking for something bigger to blame."

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

Z's note: I hear what he's saying, and agree - the blame game will get us no where; however, failing to react and initiate change in our society is to give in to complacency. And yes, this was one man's rampage - but we don't live in isolation. In time, the pursuit of justice (that lofty ideal) will become the focus, but what I hear the author saying is give the hokies time to grieve, and come to terms with what is a tremendous loss. And I'm in agreement.

Where's the love?

Just the other day I was talking to Dr. J about the recent turn of events with Dr. Al-Arian's case (see No rest for the weary), and we were talking about how it seems that there are really truly evil people in the world. I try not to think that way, and try to see the best in people - even if I find people ignorant and obnoxious, I don't think I've gone to the point of considering them evil.

Today, however, I had a change of heart.

In the deadliest campus shooting in U.S. history, 33 people were killed (and an unknown number injured) this morning on the Virginia Tech campus in Blacksburg, Va. The story is still unfolding, but from various news reports through the day it appears to have started with a "domestic dispute" in a student dorm, around 7am, where two people were shot and killed. Two hours later, the shooter continued his rampage in an academic building.

In response, Dubya expressed his shock and offered his condolences to the victims' families. It was no surprise, at least to me, that he followed that up with a plug for the NRA -

"The president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms,
but that all laws must be followed," the statement added.

It REALLY bothers me that even in the shadows of rising crime rates, and an increase in gun violence that there is this continued adherence to the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms. My interpretation of the right to bear arms is that every citizen has the right to protection, and, in theory, this protection is provided by the police. Of course, we've all - at some point - felt a void in police protection, some communities more than others - and while I'm not usually the biggest fan of police practices generally, I still believe that the purpose of the 2nd amendment is a matter of lawful protection.

Of course, there is a huge difference of opinion in this matter - and I'm somtimes shocked by hard-core 2nd Amendment junkies like this one,

"...The citizens, students and faculty of schools are denied their right to carry arms in their defense due to laws and policies of our government. If only one citizen was carrying, many if not all lives would have been saved. Our inalienable rights to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness are our personal responsibility, yet the government attempts to take these rights away from us on a regular basis. This is what the NRA and I stand for."

So basically - the argument is, instead of fixing the system of law enforcement to ensure that government protection is adequate, working on societal morals and norms, and creating lines of communication to nip inter-community/racial/ethnic tension in the bud - we're going to fight back with arms. Does anyone else recognize this as the beginning of lawlessness, and the ultimate demise of civil society?

If this is what the NRA stands for I can confidently reassure myself that I am adamantly opposed to everything that the NRA stands for.

When we turn to guns and violence to settle our disputes - we have started toward the point of no return. An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind (Ghandi). Sadly, I think we've already started down that road; our vision has been impaired. Violence is increasingly considered an accepted part of the movie industry, gaming industry ... we are subject to so much gore through the media, that we are numb to violence, and destruction. What have we become? When will we realize that everything we subject ourselves to in the alternate reality that we live in will ultimately effect the reality of the world around us.

People got me questioning ... where is the love?

At this point, I'm beyond questioning - I'm at the point of incredible rage and disbelief. And disappointment. Todays events shattered the sometimes foggy glass that I look through - so right now I'm looking through the cracks.

Is there any hope left? Someone ... reassure me that we stand for something good and true, and it will be worth it in the end. Someone reassure me that all hope is not lost. Someone convice me to see the good again.

No rest for the weary ... a patriot's continuing battle

April 12, 2007



The latest news on Dr. Al-Arian, a formerly-tenured Professor in Florida, is that he has been on a 60 day hunger strike to protest government action, and to some extent, inaction against him. The government touted his arrest as a victory for justice and demonstrative of the value of certain provisions of hte Patriot Act that would allow the prosecution to use certain "evidence" against him at trial. The prosecution put forth their case over several months, barraging the jury with testimony from 80 witnesses (many flown in from Israel) and several hundred hours of recordings from intercepted phone calls. Al-Arian's defense was no more than a few seconds long, a brilliant move - his team believed that the prosecution had failed to prove any of its allegations. (see Peace Train? , More absurdities, and There is some justice left )


And rightly so; the jury acquitted Dr. Al-Arian on 8 of 17 charges, and remained deadlocked on the rest. They ended with a plea bargain, and hoped for a shortened sentence, only to be faced with a biggoted Floridian judge and a furhter 11 months in jail. I'm not making this up - you should read hear his rant and rave during sentencing (see press release)

Since his aquittal, Dr. Al Arian has been shuttled from jail cell to jail cell, and is now being held (upto 18 months, but who knows!) in contempt of court for refusing to testify before a grand jury (part of his agreement was that he would NOT be compelled to testify in any other investigations). Yesterday was the day that he was scheduled to have been released, even after his extended sentence. Now he will be subject to continued abuse by prison guards until his contempt sentence ends, and for another 174 days on top of that.

His sentencing is being challenged as unconstitutional, and is rumored to be heading toward the Supreme Court.

Here are various articles from around the world, chronicling the injustice after injustice being dealt to this man and his family.
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/fisk/article2430125.ece
http://www.countercurrents.org/lendman060407.htm

Finally, take action - write in to AG Gonzales in support of Dr. Al-Arian
http://ga3.org/campaign/al_arian?rk=Wp3hI%2dM1i%5fgQE

"To be patriotic is to be able to question government policy in times of crisis. To be patriotic is to stand up for the bill of rights and the Constitution in times of uncertainty and insecurity. To be patriotic is to speak up against the powerful in defense of the weak and voiceless."

- Dr. Sami Al Arian

A new toy!

The product of my newest toy

InshaAllah more to come :)

Running amongst the cherry blossoms

Back in December I was roped (between death threats from Boojaan and Anne, probably the most unlikely co-conspirators) into registering for the Cherry Blossom 10 mile run. In retrospect it was a good goal to maintain, and it was cool because there were like eight of us registered, so fun times right? Well the eight dropped down to four, and the 10 mile became a 5K. Bright and early this morning, the foursome moved slowly but surely to Ohio drive to the starting line.

Amnarani, Anne, linamustapha and myself. We were exhausted even before the race started, but there was an odd adrenaline pumping, and personally - I was in competition mode. Unfortunately, the body couldn't keep up with the mind - and the rigmarol of the last couple of months, coupled with 0 miles covered in the last three weeks and a handful of hours of sleep caught up with me. Anne and I ran/walked the 5K, but ma'shaAllah Amnarani and linamustapha totally rocked the 5K!!! Word has it that their final sprint inspired the crew behind them to pick up the pace and sprint to the finish as well! :)

All in all - good times; will I do it again - ummm, I dunno. But honestly I think that 5Ks are manageable, if you're in the habit of running - which I suppose would be a good thing to do. Anyone want to start a runners club - with someone who really does not like running?




PS: Mabrook to Amnarani and linamustapha - 32:39 (under 33 minutes!)