When the going gets tough ... Z blawgs.

Ah. I'm in a mess. Its a mess I've made for myself. I have approximately 71 hours to make sense of approximately 60 pages of incoherent babble. I'm desperately searching for some sort of direction, and unfortunately - I'm failing miserably. Unlike the last write-on, I have had pretty much unlimited access to information. I've had more than two months to work on it ... and yet, I'm still searching for direction. I'm clueless.

This is an incredibly frustrating process. I screwed up and limited myself to one option - and have close to no chance of being successful. Yet, I've come a long way and have put in a fair amount of time into this monster. I promised myself that no matter what, I would finish this competition. Unfortunately, my motto of "always give more than you promise" has not applied to myself. I'll finish alright, but I seriously doubt the quality of the work-product.

I want to say that I've given it my all, but I probably haven't. I wish I could say that this is my best work, but I know its not. I'm not a brilliant writer by any means, but I figured I wasn't half bad ... right now I'm coming to the harsh realization that I lack the ability to write academically. This isn't meant to be a pity-party ... I'm merely sharing my thoughts. It really shouldn't bother me that I can't write academically because honestly, I think academic writing is boring. However, I wonder if this inability will harm my chances of ever being an effective attorney. This paper means much more than just a chance to be on an academic journal, it was my attempt at trying to prove to myself that I could do something. That I could perhaps make a difference. But right now - I'm just not ready. I've got a long way to go, and I'm not sure I have the stamina.

I'm fine. Just tired.