Name

I was talking to a former law student (aka a lawyer) last night, and in the context of our conversation, she said - "like any good lawyer, I over think everything." And I realized at that moment that I was not alone.

All my life, I have overthought EVERYTHING (except anything related to school) and thought I was a freak, but now I realize that I've truly found my calling. Lawyers overthink everything.

Seriously though, I think alot. And in particular, I think about music. When I hear a song, if the beat catches my attention - I listen to the words. Often, as I discovered with Maroon 5, I absolutely love the beat, but when I listen to the lyrics I want to hurl. Which is why I will forever love the GooGooDolls, and Matchbox20/Rob Thomas.

The GooGooDolls sang two of my favorite songs - songs that will forever be on my list of favorites - Iris and Name. I've been listening to Name alot recently because (a) I love the guitar solo in the last minute (I think John Rzeznik played the guitar on that, and also took the lead vocals) and (b) the lyrics hit really hard.

As I was walking through Adams Morgan this evening, listening to Name, I pictured the video (this is my version of the video, I haven't actually seen the video). My interpretation of the song is that its about running away from your past and the feeling of social isolation - fearful that your past will catch up with you if you forget about it.

So, John is playing the guitar, sitting under a tree ... and there's a little girl in the tree. The video is cutting in and out from a clip of a little girl running away ... always running from something or someone ... and finally, getting to the tree. She's climbed up the tree - and is hiding up there. Hiding from the world, hiding from her past.

We all have things in our past, however small or large they are, that we hope never to have to relive or share with anyone. And we're always trying to hide from them. We've said things that we never meant to say, and did things that in retrospect should not have done. Our past sometimes isolates us, and no matter what - will always haunt us, no matter how far we run ("scars are souvenirs we never lose"). But sometimes, we want to stop running and stop hiding, and just be with someone that will protect us. Even if they don't know that they are protecting us.

"You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name"

In my head, the video ends with the little girl slipping down the tree - and sitting next to John as he plays the last chords. Coz he won't tell them her name.

Deep down inside, we all just want someone to protect us when things come crashing down, or when we fear that they will. Other times we just want to be invisible to the world. We just want to sit silently with someone that will protect our secrets, or at least - won't let anyone see us. Someone who won't tell anyone our names.