A Bangalore kind of day
Friday, March 23
A little overcast, warm, breezy ... comfortable in the high 60s. It was a little muggier than I would have liked, but for the most part...perfect. I spent the morning watching (or following) the India-SriLanka match on my sofa, dropped by school for a little bit to contribute to diversity, hung out with good friends all evening over kababs (shami, kubideh and chicken) and chocolate cake ... in between mad traffic ... as close as it could come to a typical Bangalore day.
Someone asked me why I referred to it as a Bangalore kind of day - and I gave the functional equivalent of the first paragraph. She then (jokingly) asked me why I was here.
It does sound like the life huh?
Bangalore is home. Its where the family is, where the friends are, where the memories lie. I can walk around almost any part of the city and be overcome with some memory or the other. It's an amazing feeling to have a connection like that with a city. My childhood days were spent at Amma's house - climbing the old Mango tree, teasing Kamla, playing on the roof - skipping past large urns of achaar (mango pickle), chowing down on amazing khana at Amma's kitchen table topping it off with rainbow cake and grape juice (or mosambi - sweet lime, depending on the season). My first taste of real cricket came as a 9th grader when the world cup was hosted in India - schoolday afternoons were spent sitting near the megaphone outside Mr. Mitchell's music room, listening intently to the commentary - trying to keep tabs on the Indian team ... but world cup glory was not to be had in '96 either. Basketball was my religion - days and nights were spent on the court. It was all about the experience. It was all about living my life - and being who I wanted to be. I didn't really care what anyone else thought, or said. Friends were many, dreams were big ... but reality didn't really fit in anywhere. Blissful ignorance.
So why am I here?
Well, I have something here - in the capital area - that I could never have at home. I have something to believe in, I have something work at, and something to work for - a purpose, shall we say? Something bigger than just me - it's no longer just about "my life." However, in a vacuum that wouldn't be enough - I also have friends that I depend on more than I probably should, and more than they likely understand. I don't know what it is about this group of people that keeps me strong ... I've always been blessed to be surrounded by gifted and incredibly intelligent people, but I feel like my current circle of friends has solidified into a beacon of hope (figuritively speaking of course). They keep me focused on the task at hand by reminding me why I'm here, they keep me laughing when I need to stop focusing and if I were ever to swing silently, I know I can count on them to swing silently beside me.
The most amazing part of it is that we share the same core belief system - this is a common thread that runs through our interactions, and makes it so easy, so comfortable and so permanent. And the thread is elastic - they keep me learning, and growing, and like a rubberband, if I let go - they smack me back to reality.
I spent my childhood in India, but I grew up here. This thread is what keeps me here.The slate was wiped clean, and I had the chance to become a person that I never thought I could be - and continue to surprise myself.
The problem is that its a constant choice - a choice that I sometimes hate to make. A choice between comfort, complacency, close proximity to my darling nephews and nieces that really do light up my life ... and a fulfilling and purposeful daily rigmarol. Often its also a choice between family responsbilities and personal goals, which makes it even harder. Right now the lines are clear, but they will get blurrier in time - but it is still a clear choice.
So I choose ... thats why I'm still here.
A little overcast, warm, breezy ... comfortable in the high 60s. It was a little muggier than I would have liked, but for the most part...perfect. I spent the morning watching (or following) the India-SriLanka match on my sofa, dropped by school for a little bit to contribute to diversity, hung out with good friends all evening over kababs (shami, kubideh and chicken) and chocolate cake ... in between mad traffic ... as close as it could come to a typical Bangalore day.
Someone asked me why I referred to it as a Bangalore kind of day - and I gave the functional equivalent of the first paragraph. She then (jokingly) asked me why I was here.
It does sound like the life huh?
Bangalore is home. Its where the family is, where the friends are, where the memories lie. I can walk around almost any part of the city and be overcome with some memory or the other. It's an amazing feeling to have a connection like that with a city. My childhood days were spent at Amma's house - climbing the old Mango tree, teasing Kamla, playing on the roof - skipping past large urns of achaar (mango pickle), chowing down on amazing khana at Amma's kitchen table topping it off with rainbow cake and grape juice (or mosambi - sweet lime, depending on the season). My first taste of real cricket came as a 9th grader when the world cup was hosted in India - schoolday afternoons were spent sitting near the megaphone outside Mr. Mitchell's music room, listening intently to the commentary - trying to keep tabs on the Indian team ... but world cup glory was not to be had in '96 either. Basketball was my religion - days and nights were spent on the court. It was all about the experience. It was all about living my life - and being who I wanted to be. I didn't really care what anyone else thought, or said. Friends were many, dreams were big ... but reality didn't really fit in anywhere. Blissful ignorance.
So why am I here?
Well, I have something here - in the capital area - that I could never have at home. I have something to believe in, I have something work at, and something to work for - a purpose, shall we say? Something bigger than just me - it's no longer just about "my life." However, in a vacuum that wouldn't be enough - I also have friends that I depend on more than I probably should, and more than they likely understand. I don't know what it is about this group of people that keeps me strong ... I've always been blessed to be surrounded by gifted and incredibly intelligent people, but I feel like my current circle of friends has solidified into a beacon of hope (figuritively speaking of course). They keep me focused on the task at hand by reminding me why I'm here, they keep me laughing when I need to stop focusing and if I were ever to swing silently, I know I can count on them to swing silently beside me.
The most amazing part of it is that we share the same core belief system - this is a common thread that runs through our interactions, and makes it so easy, so comfortable and so permanent. And the thread is elastic - they keep me learning, and growing, and like a rubberband, if I let go - they smack me back to reality.
I spent my childhood in India, but I grew up here. This thread is what keeps me here.The slate was wiped clean, and I had the chance to become a person that I never thought I could be - and continue to surprise myself.
The problem is that its a constant choice - a choice that I sometimes hate to make. A choice between comfort, complacency, close proximity to my darling nephews and nieces that really do light up my life ... and a fulfilling and purposeful daily rigmarol. Often its also a choice between family responsbilities and personal goals, which makes it even harder. Right now the lines are clear, but they will get blurrier in time - but it is still a clear choice.
So I choose ... thats why I'm still here.
posted by zai5h at Monday, March 26, 2007
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